Nervous
by chickenwriter
Summary: My first ER fic and my first f/f. Odd stuff. Kerry and Kim, marking a random day early in their relationship and then moving on to the two days before witch hunt. Spoiler possibilities...I guess.
1. Chapter 1

Nervous

Kerry and Kim

Author's note: This is my first f/f fic, so…please excuse me. Haha.

"It's good to see you, Kerry."

"I didn't mean to just drop in like this, I…I had a bad day."

"You're always welcome here," she leaned forward and kissed her lightly, "do you want to talk about it?"

"No, not really," she sighed. "Kim?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not sure how I feel about this."

"About what? Us?"

"No. I care for you. I just feel that it's unfair to you that I have to hide our relationship."

"I don't think it is. "

"Really?"

"Really. Why don't we get some rest, Kerry?"

"All right." She managed a slight smile.

"You want something to drink first?"

"That'd be nice," Kerry sat down softly on the couch and curled one leg under her. Her hip was throbbing. She hadn't noticed. Kim entered later with some wine; she handed it to Kerry and took the spot closest to her on the couch. They sat in silence while they let the liquid warm their throats. Kim put her glass down, and Kerry mimicked the action. Kim looked at Kerry intently. She took her hand and trailed her lips from the fingertips to the inside of her wrist. Kerry twitched slightly. She wasn't used to enjoying sensations brought on by a woman's touch. She didn't want to feel the way she did, but she couldn't help loving the power that Kim held over her. So, she let her continue. She had kissed her way up Kerry's bare arms and to her neck, and by this time Kerry had surrendered. This was better than the hungry, demanding touch of her previous lovers. Kim was taking the time to make sure they were both satisfied; she wasn't just taking what she wanted.

Kerry, wanting to return the favor, pulled back and looked Kim in the eyes.

"I'm nervous," she whispered.

"Don't be, Kerry, I don't bite"

"I know," she leaned forward and captured Kim's lips in a fiery, needy kiss. It had been too long since she last felt this way. She sighed with contentment into the kiss. Kim giggled slightly. "What?"

"Nothing," she grinned, pulling Kerry's shirt from beneath her belt and pushing her down into a reclined position. She reluctantly laid back as Kim positioned herself over her, fumbling at the buttons on the shirt.

"Kim?"

"Yes?"

"Can we turn off the light? I have scars, and freckles. I am a bit older than you," Kim smiled at the fact that Kerry Weaver was intimidated.

"Kerry, you're beautiful. I want to see you."

"Kim…" She sighed, knowing it was a lost cause. Her shirt was being pulled off her arms before she could argue.

"See. Look how beautiful you are. I love your freckles. And as for your scars…" She kissed each tiny knick, scrape and bruise, trailing light kisses along the longer scars that curved around her breasts. Kerry let herself enjoy the feel of her lips on her bare flesh until she needed to let Kim know how she felt about her. She grabbled blindly for the edges of Kim's shirt and helped her to pull it over her head. They sat up so Kim could now recline on the couch. Kerry kissed her neck timidly and bit lightly at the skin. It surprised Kim to see how gentle the normally dominant woman could be. She was timid and shy about her body, perhaps more than the normal person. She ran her shaking hands up Kim's sides to her neck, and she leaned in for another heavy kiss. She sighed softly against Kerry's lips as Kerry covered her body with the pressure of her own. They lay there, biting and tasting each other softly, until Kim spoke again: "Kerry, why don't we move to the bed?"

"Oh…okay," Kerry spoke so softly that it was hard to hear the quaver in her voice.

"Are you okay?" Kim asked as Kerry sat up on the couch.

"Yeah, my crutch is all the way over there," she motioned to the door, and Kim smiled, helping her to stand.

"It's okay, I'll help you," Kim took her arm and led her to the other room. Kerry was embarrassed by the tenderness moving her across the room required. It wasn't often that her hip caused her embarrassment.

She sat softly on the bed, distraught that the light still shined upon her.

"Kim, the light, please," she begged.

"Of course," Kim switched off the light and joined Kerry back on the bed. She lay her down gently and straddled her body. She ran her fingers through the short red hair. "You're beautiful," she whispered again.

"No…" Kerry moaned, moving beneath her lover's weight.

"Yes, you are," Kim argued playfully, kissing Kerry again. "Are you still nervous?"

"Not really." She whispered, wrapping her arms around the blonde and pulling her close.


	2. Chapter 2

Setting: Two days before "Witch Hunt"

XO

She awoke bathed in a triangular shape of light coming from the bathroom. She could hear her lover softly humming. She sighed and stretched her arms above her.

"Kerry?" Kim whispered, poking her head through the gap in the door. "Did I wake you?"

"No."

"Oh good. What time does your shift start?"

"Nine. What time is it?"

"Six. It's too early, I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. I'll just lay here while you get ready."

"Okay." Kim leaned over to give her a good morning kiss, but Kerry moved her face away so Kim caught her cheek. "Playing hard to get?"

"Something like that." Kim smirked. "Go get ready. You'll be late."

"My shift's at eight, Kerry." She didn't present any further argument, and she walked back to the bathroom. Kerry heard the hair-dryer start up. She imagined Kim running her fingers through her gorgeous long blond hair, and the thought intrigued her.

"Kim?" She asked timidly.

"Yeah?" She shouted over the drone of the dryer.

"Can you open the door farther?" She did as she was asked and turned off the dryer, expecting Kerry to want to talk to her. Kerry just looked at her intently, so she started back up with her daily routine.

'She's watching me,' she thought to herself, smiling. She tossed her hair around expertly, running her hands through it. Kerry tensed instantly, watching her normal routine as if she were watching an engrossing film. When Kim had finished drying her hair, she joined Kerry on the bed. Kerry reached to stroke through her hair.

"You're so beautiful, Kim."

"Thank you." She smiled, lifting Kerry's hand and kissing it gently while pulling back the sheets from her lover's chest. The light from the bathroom poured over Kerry's breasts, revealing her scars and freckles. Kim could tell she was uncomfortable, but she proceeded. She traced a group of scars just beneath Kerry's breast with her index finger. "What is this one?"

"Kim…"

"Please, Kerry. I want to know you. Please let me in."

"My mom spilled hot coffee on me when I was 2."

"It's a scald?" Kerry nodded. "What about this one?" She had moved on to a small scar over her ribs.

"Cat scratch."

"Vicious cat?" Kerry nodded again.

"Kim, can we stop playing this game?"

"I'm not playing a game, Kerry." She looked at her lover, noticing she was tearing up. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so pushy." She trailed kisses from her mouth down her sternum. "You're beautiful, Kerry, with your scars. They make you who you are, and I love that."

"You should go."

"Yeah. Borrow anything you want from the closet if you need it."

"Okay, thanks." Kerry sat up and grabbed Kim's hand before she walked away. She pulled her closer and kissed her passionately. "See you later." Kim smiled and walked out of the bedroom, grabbing her coat and walking through the cold Chicago air. Kerry slammed her head back into the pillow. "What am I doing?"

...xo.

It was a slow day. That was never a good sign. Once you noticed it was a slow day in the ER, a multiple trauma pulled in seconds later. Today it hadn't happened, yet, and it was only ten minutes until the end of Kerry's shift. She hadn't seen Kim all shift, despite being able to feel her touch every single moment of the day. The thought of her made her hair stand on end. She couldn't wait to see her, and yet it disturbed her that she couldn't share her feelings with anyone. Convinced that this relationship was a one time deal, and that she would never have to admit to loving a woman after Kim, she didn't feel the need to "come out." After all, she wasn't a lesbian, she'd had male lovers up until now; she was even married before she had come to the ER.

But what about now? Now she couldn't wait to meet Kim at her house, to lavish her with all the feelings she'd been suppressing throughout the day. She knew Kim had already left, and it would be only twenty minutes until she could be in her arms, sheltered from the cold.

At the end of her shift, she hung her jacket and stethoscope in her locker, grabbed her coat and shut the door. She smiled and waved good-bye to Carter, Abby and Luka, and she walked into the snow.

It was freezing. Below zero once again, and she couldn't wait to be in a warm house with some wine and a blanket.

"Kerry!" She heard from behind her.

"Kim?" She asked, turning around.

"I got held up by an hour, I was hoping you were still here."

"Well, you caught me." Kim leaned forward and kissed her quickly. "Kim…"

"Sorry, I couldn't help it."

"Well, try, please." Kerry began to walk toward the train station, ready to get out of the cold.

...xo.

Kim unlocked the door and let Kerry pass; she moved into the room, hung up her coat and dropped her bags on the counter. They hadn't spoken since before they got on the train. Kerry ached from head to toe. Her chest ached from the cold, her hip ached from being on her feet, and her whole body ached with need. She shook as Kim shut the door and approached her silently.

"I missed you today."

"I missed you, too." She was speaking quietly as if someone would overhear. Kim lifted her hand

to caress her cheek.

"Kerry…is there any chance we could actually go out…like a date…?"

"Kim…we've talked about this."

"I know, I just mean…out somewhere where none of your colleagues will be."

"And where would that be, Kim?" Kerry rested her forehead against Kim's. "I'm sorry, I just

don't. want anyone in the ER to know, and I'm letting that get in the way of us. We can go out."

"Tomorrow?"

"Sure." Kerry smiled, taking Kim's hand and kissing the palm.


End file.
